indubitable law of God or of nature is so concealed in our sphere of
society, that the fulfilment of this law seemed to me strange,
terrible, even shameful; as though the fulfilment of an eternal,
unquestionable law, and not the departure from it, can be terrible,
strange, and shameful.

At first it seemed to me that the fulfilment of this matter required
some preparation, arrangement or community of men, holding similar
views,--the consent of one's family, life in the country; it seemed
to me disgraceful to make a show of myself before people, to
undertake a thing so improper in our conditions of existence, as
bodily toil, and I did not know how to set about it. But it was
only necessary for me to understand that this is no exclusive
occupation which requires to be invented and arranged for, but that
this employment was merely a return from the false position in which
I found myself, to a natural one; was only a rectification of that
lie in which I was living. I had only to recognize this fact, and
all these difficulties vanished. It was not in the least necessary
to make preparations and arrangements, and to await the consent of
others, for, no matter in what position I had found myself, there
had always been people who had fed, clothed and warmed me, in
addition to themselves; and everywhere, under all conditions, I
could do the same for myself and for them, if I had the time and the
strength. Neither could I experience false shame in an unwonted
occupation, no matter how surprising it might be to people, because,
through not doing it, I had already experienced not false but real
shame.

And when I had reached this confession and the practical deduction
from it, I was fully rewarded for not having quailed before the