Ungratefully impatient of the admiration excited by my personal
advantages, savagely irritated by tender looks and flattering
compliments, I only consented take lodgings, on condition that there
should be no young women living under the same roof with me. If this
confession of morbid feeling looks like vanity, I can only say that
appearances lie. I write in sober sadness; determined to present my
character, with photographic accuracy, as a true likeness.

"What were my habits in solitude? How did I get through the weary and
wakeful hours of the day?

"Living by myself, I became (as I have already acknowledged) important to
myself--and, as a necessary consequence, I enjoyed registering my own
daily doings. Let passages copied from my journal reveal how I got
through the day.

IX

EXTRACTS FROM A DEAF MAN'S DIARY

"Monday.--Six weeks today since I first occupied my present retreat.

"My landlord and landlady are two hideous old people. They look as if
they disliked me, on the rare occasions when we meet. So much the better;
they don't remind me of my deafness by trying to talk, and they keep as
much as possible out of my way. This morning, after breakfast, I altered
the arrangement of my books--and then I made my fourth attempt, in the
last ten days, to read some of my favorite authors. No: my taste has
apparently changed since the time when I could hear. I closed one volume
after another; caring nothing for what used to be deeply interesting to