oxen. It happened as follows; archduke: I was quite a young man yet,
and had married my wife, Anna Gertrude Ladurner, only a year before.
I was very fond of my little wife, and did not like to sit for hours
in the tavern, as I had done heretofore. I stayed at home often
enough instead of attending to my business, and going down to Italy
or Germany to carry on my traffic in corn, wine, horses, and oxen,
by which I had made a great deal of money. My friends sneered at my
staying so much at home, and said: 'Andy Hofer, the Sandwirth, is a
henpecked husband, and his wife is master of the house.' This was
very disagreeable to me, for, although I love my Anna Gertrude from
the bottom of my heart, I have always been the master; and she has
been obedient to me, as the Bible says it should be between husband
and wife. Well, one day I sat at home with a few friends; we were
drinking wine in the bar-room. Suddenly there entered the room an
old beggar with a tremendous beard reaching down to his girdle. I
laugh at the beard and rejoice over its enormous length. One of my
friends, Anthony Waidlinger, the rich Amselwirth, asks me: 'Well,
Andy, would you like to wear as long a beard as that?' 'Why not?' I
reply merrily. ' Ah,' exclaims Anthony, laughing, 'you must not talk
so saucily. You must not wear so long a beard. Your wife will not
permit it, Andy!' This makes me very angry; I start up, and hardly
know what I am doing. 'What!' I cry, ' my wife? She must obey me
whether she likes it or not. What will you bet I will not shave my
beard for a whole year?' 'I will bet you two oxen,' says Anthony;
'but let me warn you, Andy, you will lose the oxen; for I stick to
it, your wife will never permit you to become the laughing-stock of
the children by appearing in the streets with such a lion's mane.
Therefore consider the matter well, Andy, for there is time yet.
Admit that you will not win the bet, for two oxen are at stake!' 'I
have already considered everything,' I say: 'and as for the two