pen. That I am young, that I have a heart for the sufferings of my
country, a heart not only for the honor of Austria, but for that of
Germany--that is what gives umbrage to them, what renders me
suspicious in their eyes, and causes them to regard me as a
revolutionist. I had to suffer a good deal for my convictions; a
great many obstacles were raised against all my plans; and yet I
desired only to contribute to the welfare of the whole; I demanded
nothing for myself, but every thing for the fatherland. To the
fatherland I wished to devote my blood and my life; for the
fatherland I wished to conquer in the disastrous campaign of 1805.
However, such were not the plans of my adversaries; they did not
wish to carry on the war with sufficient energy and perseverance;
they would not give my brother Charles and me an opportunity to
distinguish ourselves and gain a popular name. Whenever I planned a
vigorous attack, I was not permitted to carry it into effect.
Whenever, with my corps, I might have exerted a decisive influence
upon the fortunes of the war, I was ordered to retreat with my
troops to some distant position of no importance whatever; and when
I remonstrated, they charged me with rebelling against the emperor's
authority. Ah, I suffered a great deal in those days, and the wounds
which my heart received at that juncture are bleeding yet. I had to
succumb, when the men who had commenced the war at a highly
unfavorable time, conducted it at an equally unfavorable moment, and
made peace. And by that peace Austria lost her most loyal province,
the beautiful Tyrol, one of the oldest states of the Hapsburgs; and
her most fertile province, the territory of Venetia and Dalmatia,
for which I did not grieve so much, because it always was a source
of political dissensions and quarrels for the hereditary provinces
of Austria. What afflicted me most sorely was the loss of the Tyrol,
and even now I cannot think of it without the most profound emotion.