that he could not sit down in--dressed like a
grasshopper. This human cricket came up to the
clerk's desk just as I entered, adjusted his
unseeing eye-glass, and spake in this wise to the clerk.
You see, he thought it was ``Hinglish, you know,''
to lisp. ``Thir, will you have the kindness to
supply me with thome papah and enwelophs!''
The hotel clerk measured that man quick, and
he pulled the envelopes and paper out of a drawer,
threw them across the counter toward the young
man, and then turned away to his books. You
should have seen that young man when those
envelopes came across that counter. He swelled
up like a gobbler turkey, adjusted his unseeing eye-
glass, and yelled: ``Come right back here. Now
thir, will you order a thervant to take that papah
and enwelophs to yondah dethk.'' Oh, the poor,
miserable, contemptible American monkey! He
could not carry paper and envelopes twenty feet.
I suppose he could not get his arms down to do
it. I have no pity for such travesties upon human
nature. If you have not capital, young man, I
am glad of it. What you need is common sense,
not copper cents.

The best thing I can do is to illustrate by actual
facts well-known to you all. A. T. Stewart, a
poor boy in New York, had $1.50 to begin life on.
He lost 87 <1/2> cents of that on the very first venture.
How fortunate that young man who loses the