One month ago there were two. To-day we number four Emperors of
the Abnormal Proboscis in good standing - doubles every four weeks,
see? That's geometrical progression - you know how that piles up.
In a year and a half every man in California will have a wart on
his Nose. Powerful Order! Initiation, five dollars."

"My friend," said the Person Similarly Afflicted, "here are five
dollars. Keep my name off your books."

"Thank you kindly," the Man with a Wart on His Nose replied,
pocketing the money; "it is just the same to us as if you joined.
Good-by."

He went away, but in a little while he was back.

"I quite forgot to mention the monthly dues," he said.



The Divided Delegation



A DELEGATION at Washington went to a New President, and said:

"Your Excellency, we are unable to agree upon a Favourite Son to
represent us in your Cabinet."

"Then," said the New President, "I shall have to lock you up until
you do agree."