Two Footpads sat at their grog in a roadside resort, comparing the
evening's adventures.

"I stood up the Chief of Police," said the First Footpad, "and I
got away with what he had."

"And I," said the Second Footpad, "stood up the United States
District Attorney, and got away with - "

"Good Lord!" interrupted the other in astonishment and admiration -
"you got away with what that fellow had?"

"No," the unfortunate narrator explained - "with a small part of
what I had."



Equipped for Service



DURING the Civil War a Patriot was passing through the State of
Maryland with a pass from the President to join Grant's army and
see the fighting. Stopping a day at Annapolis, he visited the shop
of a well-known optician and ordered seven powerful telescopes, one
for every day in the week. In recognition of this munificent
patronage of the State's languishing industries, the Governor
commissioned him a colonel.