beer cellar. Haydn, entering, inquired, "Whose minuet is that you
are playing?" "Haydn's," answered the fiddler. "It's a--bad
minuet," replied Haydn, whereupon the enraged player turned upon
him and would have broken his head with the fiddle had not
Dittersdorf dragged him away.

Attempts at Programme Music

It seems to have been about this time--the date, in fact, was
1751--that Haydn, still pursuing his serenading practices,
directed a performance of a quintet of his own composition under
the windows of Felix Kurz, a well-known Viennese comedian and
theatrical manager. According to an old writer, Kurz amused the
public by his puns, and drew crowds to his theatre by his
originality and by good opera-buffas. He had, moreover, a handsome
wife, and "this was an additional reason for our nocturnal
adventurers to go and perform their serenades under the
harlequin's windows." The comedian was naturally flattered by
Haydn's attention. He heard the music, and, liking it, called the
composer into the house to show his skill on the clavier. Kurz
appears to have been an admirer of what we would call "programme"
music. At all events he demanded that Haydn should give him a
musical representation of a storm at sea. Unfortunately, Haydn
had never set eyes on the "mighty monster," and was hard put to
it to describe what he knew nothing about. He made several
attempts to satisfy Kurz, but without success. At last, out of
all patience, he extended his hands to the two ends of the
harpsichord, and, bringing them rapidly together, exclaimed, as
he rose from the instrument, "The devil take the tempest."
"That's it! That's it!" cried the harlequin, springing upon his