common than ingratitude: for this I see is brought about by various
causes. The first of these is, that we do not choose worthy persons
upon whom to bestow our bounty, but although when we are about to
lend money we first make a careful enquiry into the means and
habits of life of our debtor, and avoid sowing seed in a worn-out
or unfruitful soil, yet without any discrimination we scatter our
benefits at random rather than bestow them. It is hard to say
whether it is more dishonourable for the receiver to disown a
benefit, or for the giver to demand a return of it: for a benefit
is a loan, the repayment of which depends merely upon the good
feeling of the debtor. To misuse a benefit like a spendthrift is
most shameful, because we do not need our wealth but only our
intention to set us free from the obligation of it; for a benefit
is repaid by being acknowledged. Yet while they are to blame who do
not even show so much gratitude as to acknowledge their debt, we
ourselves are to blame no less. We find many men ungrateful, yet we
make more men so, because at one time we harshly and reproachfully
demand some return for our bounty, at another we are fickle and
regret what we have given, at another we are peevish and apt to
find fault with trifles. By acting thus we destroy all sense of
gratitude, not only after we have given anything, but while we are
in the act of giving it. Who has ever thought it enough to be asked
for anything in an off-hand manner, or to be asked only once? Who,
when he suspected that he was going to be asked for any thing, has
not frowned, turned away his face, pretended to be busy, or
purposely talked without ceasing, in order not to give his suitor a
chance of preferring his request, and avoided by various tricks
having to help his friend in his pressing need? and when driven
into a corner, has not either put the matter off, that is, given a
cowardly refusal, or promised his help ungraciously, with a wry