in a moderate style; public office, and, for the ambitious, due
advancement to higher posts; for nothing can be more useful to a
man than to be placed in a position in which he can benefit
himself. All benefits beyond these are superfluous, and are likely
to spoil those who receive them. In giving these we must be careful
to make them acceptable by giving them at the appropriate time, or
by giving things which are not common, but such as few people
possess, or at any rate few possess in our times; or again, by
giving things in such a manner, that though not naturally valuable,
they become so by the time and place at which they are given. We
must reflect what present will produce the most pleasure, what will
most frequently come under the notice of the possessor of it, so
that whenever he is with it he may be with us also; and in all
cases we must be careful not to send useless presents, such as
hunting weapons to a woman or old man, or books to a rustic, or
nets to catch wild animals to a quiet literary man. On the other
hand, we ought to be careful, while we wish to send what will
please, that we do not send what will insultingly remind our
friends of their failings, as, for example, if we send wine to a
hard drinker or drugs to an invalid, for a present which contains
an allusion to the shortcomings of the receiver, becomes an
outrage.

XII. If we have a free choice as to what to give, we should above
all choose lasting presents, in order that our gift may endure as
long as possible; for few are so grateful as to think of what they
have received, even when they do not see it. Even the ungrateful
remember us by our gifts, when they are always in their sight and
do not allow themselves to be forgotten, but constantly obtrude and
stamp upon the mind the memory of the giver. As we never ought to