you suppose that he wished to do me any honour? not so, he merely
wished to indulge his own vice of profusion." If you wish men to be
grateful for anything, give it but seldom; no one can bear to
receive what you give to all the world. Yet let no one gather from
this that I wish to impose any bonds upon generosity; let her go to
what lengths she will, so that she go a steady course, not at
random. It is possible to bestow gifts in such a manner that each
of those who receive them, although he shares them with many
others, may yet feel himself to be distinguished from the common
herd. Let each man have some peculiarity about his gift which may
make him consider himself more highly favoured than the rest. He
may say, "I received the same present that he did, but I never
asked for it." "I received the same present, but mine was given me
after a few days, whereas he had earned it by long service."
"Others have the same present, but it was not given to them with
the same courtesy and gracious words with which it was given to
me." "That man got it because he asked for it; I did not ask."
"That man received it as well as I, but then he could easily return
it; one has great expectations from a rich man, old and childless,
as he is; whereas in giving the same present to me he really gave
more, because he gave it without the hope of receiving any return
for it." Just as a courtesan divides her favours among many men, so
that no one of her friends is without some proof of her affection,
so let him who wishes his benefits to be prized consider how he may
at the same time gratify many men, and nevertheless give each one
of them some especial mark of favour to distinguish him from the
rest.

XV. I am no advocate of slackness in giving benefits: the more and
the greater they are, the more praise they will bring to the giver.