received, and offer themselves to us, so that the only delay is
caused by the modesty of the receiver. The best thing of all is to
anticipate a person's wishes; the next, to follow them; the former
is the better course, to be beforehand with our friends by giving
them what they want before they ask us for it, for the value of a
gift is much enhanced by sparing an honest man the misery of asking
for it with confusion and blushes. He who gets what he asked for
does not get it for nothing, for indeed, as our austere ancestors
thought, nothing is so dear as that which is bought by prayers. Men
would be much more modest in their petitions to heaven, if these
had to be made publicly; so that even when addressing the gods,
before whom we can with all honour bend our knees, we prefer to
pray silently and within ourselves.

II. It is unpleasant, burdensome, and covers one with shame to have
to say, "Give me." You should spare your friends, and those whom
you wish to make your friends, from having to do this; however
quick he may be, a man gives too late who gives what he has been
asked for. We ought, therefore, to divine every man's wishes, and
when we have discovered them, to set him free from the hard
necessity of asking; you may be sure that a benefit which comes
unasked will be delightful and will not be forgotten. If we do not
succeed in anticipating our friends, let us at any rate cut them
short when they ask us for anything, so that we may appear to be
reminded of what we meant to do, rather than to have been asked to
do it. Let us assent at once, and by our promptness make it appear
that we meant to do so even before we were solicited. As in dealing
with sick persons much depends upon when food is given, and plain
water given at the right moment sometimes acts as a remedy, so a
benefit, however slight and commonplace it may be, if it be