here to-day? It is my at home day: you promised not to come. [As
he bends to kiss her, she takes his hat off, and presents it to
him].

HIGGINS. Oh bother! [He throws the hat down on the table].

MRS. HIGGINS. Go home at once.

HIGGINS [kissing her] I know, mother. I came on purpose.

MRS. HIGGINS. But you mustn't. I'm serious, Henry. You offend all
my friends: they stop coming whenever they meet you.

HIGGINS. Nonsense! I know I have no small talk; but people don't
mind. [He sits on the settee].

MRS. HIGGINS. Oh! don't they? Small talk indeed! What about your
large talk? Really, dear, you mustn't stay.

HIGGINS. I must. I've a job for you. A phonetic job.

MRS. HIGGINS. No use, dear. I'm sorry; but I can't get round your
vowels; and though I like to get pretty postcards in your patent
shorthand, I always have to read the copies in ordinary writing
you so thoughtfully send me.

HIGGINS. Well, this isn't a phonetic job.

MRS. HIGGINS. You said it was.