My amiable intentions, however, were frustrated; for, when I
approached, with as Christian an expression as my principles
would allow, and asked the question--"Shall I try to make you more
comfortable, sir?" all I got for my pains was a gruff--

"No; I'll do it myself."

"Here's your Southern chivalry, with a witness," thought I,
dumping the basin down before him, thereby quenching a strong
desire to give him a summary baptism, in return for his
ungraciousness; for my angry passions rose, at this rebuff, in a
way that would have scandalized good Dr. Watts. He was a
disappointment in all respects, (the rebel, not the blessed
Doctor,) for he was neither fiendish, romantic, pathetic, or
anything interesting; but a long, fat man, with a head like a
burning bush, and a perfectly expressionless face: so I could
dislike him without the slightest drawback, and ignored his
existence from that day forth. One redeeming trait he certainly
did possess, as the floor speedily testified; for his ablutions
were so vigorously performed, that his bed soon stood like an
isolated island, in a sea of soap-suds, and he resembled a
dripping merman, suffering from the loss of a fin. If cleanliness
is a near neighbor to godliness, then was the big rebel the
godliest man in my ward that day.

Having done up our human wash, and laid it out to dry, the second
syllable of our version of the word war-fare was enacted with
much success. Great trays of bread, meat, soup and coffee
appeared; and both nurses and attendants turned waiters, serving