battle?"--"I will tell you, sir," replied the Duke, coolly; "I thought I
should win it, and so I lost it. But," he said, turning himself slowly
round, "who is the fool that asked me this question?"

Father Joseph was in great favour with Cardinal Richelieu, and was
consulted by him on all occasions. One day, when the Cardinal had
summoned Duke Bernard to the Council, Father Joseph, running his finger
over a map, said, "Monsieur, you must first take this city; then that,
and then that." The Duke Bernard listened to him for some time, and at
length said, "But, Monsieur Joseph, you cannot take cities with your
finger." This story always made the King laugh heartily.

..........................

M. de Brancas was very deeply in love with the lady whom he married. On
his wedding-day he went to take a bath, and was afterwards going to bed
at the bath-house. "Why are you going to bed here, sir?" said his valet
de chambre; "do you not mean to go to your wife?"--"I had quite
forgotten," he replied. He was the Queen-mother's chevalier d'honneur.
One day, while she was at church, Brancas forgot that the Queen was
kneeling before him, for as her back was very round, her head could
hardly be seen when she hung it down. He took her for a prie-dieu, and
knelt down upon her, putting his elbows upon her shoulders. The Queen
was of course not a little surprised to find her chevalier d'honneur upon
her back, and all the bystanders were ready to die with laughing.

Dr. Chirac was once called to see a lady, and, while he was in her
bedchamber, he heard that the price of stock had considerably decreased.
As he happened to be a large holder of the Mississippi Bonds, he was
alarmed at the news; and being seated near the patient, whose pulse he