entreated she would permit me in future to show her my own and my
brother's letters, to which she consented. I wrote warmly to my brother
against the course he had adopted. I sent my letters by sure channels; he
answered me by the post, and no longer touched upon anything but family
affairs. Once only he informed me that if I should write to him
respecting the affairs of the day he would give me no answer. "Serve your
august mistress with the unbounded devotion which is due from you," said
he, "and let us each do our duty. I will only observe to you that at
Paris the fogs of the Seine often prevent people from seeing that immense
capital, even from the Pavilion of Flora, and I see it more clearly from
St. Petersburg." The Queen said, as she read this letter, "Perhaps he
speaks but too truly; who can decide upon so disastrous a position as ours
has become?" The day on which I gave the Queen my brother's first letter
to read she had several audiences to give to ladies and other persons
belonging to the Court, who came on purpose to inform her that my brother
was an avowed constitutionalist and revolutionist. The Queen replied, "I
know it; Madame Campan has told me so." Persons jealous of my situation
having subjected me to mortifications, and these unpleasant circumstances
recurring daily, I requested the Queen's permission to withdraw from
Court. She exclaimed against the very idea, represented it to me as
extremely dangerous for my own reputation, and had the kindness to add
that, for my sake as well as for her own, she never would consent to it.
After this conversation I retired to my apartment. A few minutes later a
footman brought me this note from the Queen: "I have never ceased to give
you and yours proofs of my attachment; I wish to tell you in writing that
I have full faith in your honour and fidelity, as well as in your other
good qualities; and that I ever rely on the zeal and address you exert to
serve me."

[I had just received this letter from the Queen when M. de la Chapelle,