This fondness for imaginary objects, and the facility with which I could
gain possession of them, completed my disgust for everything around me,
and fixed that inclination for solitude which has ever since been
predominant. We shall have more than once occasion to remark the effects
of a disposition, misanthropic and melancholy in appearance, but which
proceed, in fact, from a heart too affectionate, too ardent, which, for
want of similar dispositions, is constrained to content itself with
nonentities, and be satisfied with fiction. It is sufficient, at
present, to have traced the origin of a propensity which has modified my
passions, set bounds to each, and by giving too much ardor to my wishes,
has ever rendered me too indolent to obtain them.

Thus I attained my sixteenth year, uneasy, discontented with myself and
everything that surrounded me; displeased with my occupation; without
enjoying the pleasures common to my age, weeping without a cause, sighing
I knew not why, and fond of my chimerical ideas for want of more valuable
realities.

Every Sunday, after sermon-time, my companions came to fetch me out,
wishing me to partake of their diversions. I would willingly have been
excused, but when once engaged in amusement, I was more animated and
enterprising than any of them; it was equally difficult to engage or
restrain me; indeed, this was ever a leading trait in my character.
In our country walks I was ever foremost, and never thought of returning
till reminded by some of my companions. I was twice obliged to be from
my master's the whole night, the city gates having been shut before I
could reach them. The reader may imagine what treatment this procured me
the following mornings; but I was promised such a reception for the
third, that I made a firm resolution never to expose myself to the danger
of it. Notwithstanding my determination, I repeated this dreaded