at silencing so kind a host; I, therefore, yielded him the victory, or
rather declined the contest. Any one who had observed my precaution,
would certainly have pronounced me a dissembler, though, in fact, I was
only courteous.

Flattery, or rather condescension, is not always a vice in young people;
'tis oftener a virtue. When treated with kindness, it is natural to feel
an attachment for the person who confers the obligation; we do not
acquiesce because we wish to deceive, but from dread of giving
uneasiness, or because we wish to avoid the ingratitude of rendering evil
for good. What interest had M. de Pontverre in entertaining, treating
with respect, and endeavoring to convince me? None but mine; my young
heart told me this, and I was penetrated with gratitude and respect for
the generous priest; I was sensible of my superiority, but scorned to
repay his hospitality by taking advantage of it. I had no conception of
hypocrisy in this forbearance, or thought of changing my religion, nay,
so far was the idea from being familiar to me, that I looked on it with a
degree of horror which seemed to exclude the possibility of such an
event; I only wished to avoid giving offence to those I was sensible
caressed me from that motive; I wished to cultivate their good opinion,
and meantime leave them the hope of success by seeming less on my guard
than I really was. My conduct in this particular resembled the coquetry
of some very honest women, who, to obtain their wishes, without
permitting or promising anything, sometimes encourage hopes they never
mean to realize.

Reason, piety, and love of order, certainly demanded that instead of
being encouraged in my folly, I should have been dissuaded from the ruin
I was courting, and sent back to my family; and this conduct any one that
was actuated by genuine virtue would have pursued; but it should be