of fifty it was time I should be so. Full of the doctrine I had just
preached to graybeards in my letter to D'Alembert, I should have been
ashamed of not profiting by it myself; besides, coming to the knowledge
of that of which I had been ignorant, I must have been mad to have
carried my pretensions so far as to expose myself to such an illustrious
rivalry. Finally, ill cured perhaps of my passion for Madam de Houdetot,
I felt nothing could replace it in my heart, and I bade adieu to love for
the rest of my life. I have this moment just withstood the dangerous
allurements of a young woman who had her views; and if she feigned to
forget my twelve lustres I remember them. After having thus withdrawn
myself from danger, I am no longer afraid of a fall, and I answer for
myself for the rest of my days.

Madam de Boufflers, perceiving the emotion she caused in me, might also
observe I had triumphed over it. I am neither mad nor vain enough to
believe I was at my age capable of inspiring her with the same feelings;
but, from certain words which she let drop to Theresa, I thought I had
inspired her with a curiosity; if this be the case, and that she has not
forgiven me the disappointment she met with, it must be confessed I was
born to be the victim of my weaknesses, since triumphant love was so
prejudicial to me, and love triumphed over not less so.

Here finishes the collection of letters which has served me as a guide in
the last two books. My steps will in future be directed by memory only;
but this is of such a nature, relative to the period to which I am now
come, and the strong impression of objects has remained so perfectly upon
my mind, that lost in the immense sea of my misfortunes, I cannot forget
the detail of my first shipwreck, although the consequences present to me
but a confused remembrance. I therefore shall be able to proceed in the
succeeding book with sufficient confidence. If I go further it will be