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Confessions of J. J. Rousseau, the — Volume 12 by Jean-Jacques Rousseau
page 48 of 86 (55%)
inquisition was threatening. In fine, everything contributed to
encourage me.

On the eve of the day appointed, I had my discourse by rote, and recited
it without missing a word. I had it in my head all night: in the morning
I had forgotten it. I hesitated at every word, thought myself before the
assembly, became confused, stammered, and lost my presence of mind. In
fine, when the time to make my appearance was almost at hand, my courage
totally failed me. I remained at home and wrote to the Consistory,
hastily stating my reasons, and pleaded my disorder, which really, in the
state to which apprehension had reduced me, would scarcely have permitted
me to stay out the whole sitting.

The minister, embarrassed by my letter, adjourned the Consistory. In the
interval, he of himself, and by his creatures, made a thousand efforts to
seduce the elders, who, following the dictates of their consciences,
rather than those they received from him, did not vote according to his
wishes, or those of the class. Whatever power his arguments drawn from
his cellar might have over this kind of people, he could not gain one of
them, more than the two or three who were already devoted to his will,
and who were called his 'ames damnees'.--[damned souls]--The officer of
the prince, and the Colonel Pury, who, in this affair, acted with great
zeal, kept the rest to their duty, and when Montmollin wished to proceed
to excommunication, his Consistory, by a majority of voices, flatly
refused to authorize him to do it. Thus reduced to the last expedient,
that of stirring up the people against me, he, his colleagues, and
other persons, set about it openly, and were so successful, that
not-withstanding the strong and frequent rescripts of the king, and the
orders of the council of state, I was at length obliged to quit the
country, that I might not expose the officer of the king to be himself
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