and have always alluring objects; and generally all vices have some
previous cause, and some visible tendency. But this, of all vicious
practices, seems the most nonsensical and ridiculous; there is
neither pleasure nor profit, no design pursued, no lust gratified,
but is a mere frenzy of the tongue, a vomit of the brain, which
works by putting a contrary upon the course of nature.

Again, other vices men find some reason or other to give for, or
excuses to palliate. Men plead want to extenuate theft, and strong
provocations to excuse murders, and many a lame excuse they will
bring for whoring; but this sordid habit even those that practise it
will own to be a crime, and make no excuse for it; and the most I
could ever hear a man say for it was that he could not help it.

Besides, as it is an inexcusable impertinence, so it is a breach
upon good manners and conversation, for a man to impose the clamour
of his oaths upon the company he converses with; if there be any one
person in the company that does not approve the way, it is an
imposing upon him with a freedom beyond civility.

To suppress this, laws, Acts of Parliament, and proclamations are
baubles and banters, the laughter of the lewd party, and never had,
as I could perceive, any influence upon the practice; nor are any of
our magistrates fond or forward of putting them in execution.

It must be example, not penalties, must sink this crime; and if the
gentlemen of England would once drop it as a mode, the vice is so
foolish and ridiculous in itself, it would soon grow odious and out
of fashion.