want of discipline in this respect I do fear all will be undone. Vexed
with these things, but eased in mind by my ridding of a great deale of
business from the office, I late home to supper and to bed. But before I
was in bed, while I was undressing myself, our new ugly mayde, Luce, had
like to have broke her necke in the darke, going down our upper stairs;
but, which I was glad of, the poor girle did only bruise her head, but at
first did lie on the ground groaning and drawing her breath, like one
a-dying. This month I end in much hurry of business, but in much more
trouble in mind to thinke what will become of publique businesses, having
so many enemys abroad, and neither force nor money at all, and but little
courage for ourselves, it being really true that the spirits of our seamen
and commanders too are really broke by the last defeate with the Dutch,
and this is not my conjecture only, but the real and serious thoughts of
Sir G. Carteret and Sir W. Coventry, whom I have at distinct times heard
the same thing come from with a great deale of grief and trouble. But,
lastly, I am providing against a foule day to get as much money into my
hands as I can, at least out of the publique hands, that so, if a turne,
which I fear, do come, I may have a little to trust to. I pray God give
me good successe in my choice how to dispose of what little I have, that I
may not take it out of publique hands, and put it into worse.