how, to this very day, I cannot sleep at night without great terrors of
fire, and this very night I could not sleep till almost two in the morning
through thoughts of fire. Thus this month is ended with great content of
mind to me, thriving in my estate, and the affairs in my offices going
pretty well as to myself. This afternoon Mr. Gawden was with me and tells
me more than I knew before--that he hath orders to get all the victuals he
can to Plymouth, and the Western ports, and other outports, and some to
Scotland, so that we do intend to keep but a flying fleete this year;
which, it may be, may preserve us a year longer, but the end of it must be
ruin. Sir J. Minnes this night tells me, that he hears for certain, that
ballads are made of us in Holland for begging of a peace; which I
expected, but am vexed at. So ends this month, with nothing of weight upon
my mind, but for my father and mother, who are both very ill, and have
been so for some weeks: whom God help! but I do fear my poor father will
hardly be ever thoroughly well again.