satisfaction that some one knew how I appear to myself.

Listen, my Franz; you must help me! I am in a bad, a very bad,
way. If I am to regain the faculty of holding out (this word
means much to me), something thorough must be done in the
direction of prostituting my art which I have once taken,
otherwise all is over with me. Have you thought of Berlin again?
Something must be done there if all is not to come to a stop.

Before all, I must have money. The Hartels have been very
liberal, but what is the good of hundreds where thousands are
needed? If the Berlin purchase had come to something, I might at
least have used the offer in order to prove to a man of business
here that I possessed "capital," and to induce him to lend me the
necessary sum for three years, paying back one-third every year.
But this hope also has vanished. No one will undertake such an
affair unless he has personal confidence in my future (?)
successes. Such a man, dearest Franz, you must find for me. Once
more, I want from 3,000 to 4,000 thalers in order to find perfect
rest and equipoise. That much my operas may well bring me in in
three years IN CASE something real is done for "Lohengrin," so as
to save it. I am willing to lease my rights to the lender; my
rights in "Tannhauser" and "Lohengrin" shall be secured to him in
any way he thinks desirable or necessary. If I am not worthy of
such a service, then you must own that I am in a bad way, and
all has been a mistake! Help me over this, and I will undertake
once more to hold out.

Dear friend, do not be angry. I have a claim on you as on my
creator. You are the creator of the person I am now; I live