North and South by Elizabeth Cleghorn Gaskell
page 46 of 684 (06%)
page 46 of 684 (06%)
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father, out of a natural love for his son, connived at any--
'Oh! what is it? do speak, papa! tell me all! Why can you no longer be a clergyman? Surely, if the bishop were told all we know about Frederick, and the hard, unjust--' 'It is nothing about Frederick; the bishop would have nothing to do with that. It is all myself. Margaret, I will tell you about it. I will answer any questions this once, but after to-night let us never speak of it again. I can meet the consequences of my painful, miserable doubts; but it is an effort beyond me to speak of what has caused me so much suffering.' 'Doubts, papa! Doubts as to religion?' asked Margaret, more shocked than ever. 'No! not doubts as to religion; not the slightest injury to that.' He paused. Margaret sighed, as if standing on the verge of some new horror. He began again, speaking rapidly, as if to get over a set task: 'You could not understand it all, if I told you--my anxiety, for years past, to know whether I had any right to hold my living--my efforts to quench my smouldering doubts by the authority of the Church. Oh! Margaret, how I love the holy Church from which I am to be shut out!' He could not go on for a moment or two. Margaret could not tell what to say; it seemed to her as terribly mysterious as if her father were about to turn Mahometan. 'I have been reading to-day of the two thousand who were ejected |
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