cropped close upon the scalp, and a foolish face screwed into an
expression of facetiousness. He was employed in some clerkly
capacity at a wholesale stationer's in City Road. Having stepped
into the room, he removed a very brown silk hat and laid it on a
chair, winking the while at Sidney with his right eye; then he
removed his overcoat, winking with the left eye. Thus
disembarrassed, he strode gravely to the fireplace, took up the
poker, held it in the manner of a weapon upright against his
shoulder, and exclaimed in a severe voice, 'Eyes right!' Then,
converting the poker into a sword, he drew near to Sidney and
affected to practise upon him the military cuts, his features
distorted into grotesque ferocity. Finally, assuming the attitude of
a juggler, he made an attempt to balance the poker perpendicularly
upon his nose, until it fell with a crash, just missing the
ornaments on the mantel-piece. All this time Mrs. Byass shrieked
with laughter, with difficulty keeping her chair.

'Oh, Sam,' she panted forth, her handkerchief at her eyes, 'what a
fool you are! Do stop, or you'll kill me!'

Vastly gratified, Samuel advanced with ludicrous gestures towards
the visitor, held out his hand, and said with affected nasality,
'How do you do, sir? It's some time since I had the pleasure of
seeing you, sir. I hope you have been pretty tolerable.'

'_Isn't_ he a fool, Mr. Kirkwood?' cried the delighted wife. 'Do
just give him a smack on the side of the head, to please me! Sam, go
an' wash, an' we'll have supper. What do you mean by being so late
to-night?'