you see, my dear your man, it isn't the real thing we want so much as a
sort of a proud beginnin', shorrt of slappin' their faces. Think of
dinner. Furrst soup; that prepares ye for what's comin'. Then fish,
which is on the road to meat, dye see?--we pepper 'em. Then joint, Mr.
Braintop--out we burrst: (Oh, and what ins'lent hussies ye've been to me,
and yell naver see annything of me but my back!) Then the sweets,--But
I'm a forgivin' woman, and a Christian in the bargain, ye ungrateful
minxes; and if ye really are sorrowful! And there, Mr. Braintop, ye've
got it all laid out as flat as a pancake."

Mrs. Chump gave the motion of a lightning scrawl of the pen. Braintop
looked at the paper, which now appeared to recede from his eyes, and
flourish like a descending kite. The nature of the task he had
undertaken became mountainous in his imagination, till at last he fixed
his forehead in his thumbs and fingers, and resolutely counted a number
of meaningless words one hundred times. As this was the attitude of a
severe student, Mrs. Chump remained in expectation. Aware of the fearful
confidence he had excited in her, Braintop fell upon a fresh hundred,
with variations.

"The truth is, I think better in church," he said, disclosing at last as
ingenuous a face as he could assume. He scarcely ventured to hope for a
second dismissal.

To his joy, Mrs. Chump responded with a sigh: "There, go again; and the
Lord forgive ye for directin' your mind to temporal matters when ye're
there! It's none of my doin', remember that; and don't be tryin' to make
me a partic'pator in your wickudness."

"This is so difficult, ma'am, because you won't begin with Dear," he