Mrs. Chump became inspired by a great but uneasy hope. She was only to
be restrained from peeping, by Braintop's petulant "Pray, ma'am!" which
sent her bouncing back to her chair, with a face upon one occasion too
solemn for Braintop's gravity. He had written himself into excellent
spirits; and happening to look up as Mrs. Chump retreated from his
shoulder, the woman's comic reverence for his occupation--the prim
movement of her lips while she repeated mutely the words she supposed he
might be penning--touched him to laughter. At once Mrs. Chump seized on
the paper. "Young ladus," she read aloud, "yours of the 2nd, the 14th,
and 21st ulto. The 'ffection I bear to your onnly remaining parent."

Her enunciation waxed slower and significantly staccato toward a pause.
The composition might undoubtedly have issued from a merchant's office,
and would have done no discredit to the establishment. When the pause
came, Braintop, half for an opinion, and to encourage progress, said,
"Yes, ma'am;" and with "There, sir!" Mrs. Chump crumpled up the paper and
flung it at him. "And there, sir!" she tossed a pen. Hearing Braintop
mutter, "Lady-like behaviour," Mrs. Chump came out in a fiery bloom. "Ye
detestable young fella! Oh, ye young deceiver! Ye cann't do the work of
a man! Oh! and here's another woman dis'pointed, and when she thought
she'd got a man to write her letters!"

Braintop rose and retorted.

"Ye're false, Mr. Braintop--ye're offensuv, sir!" said Mrs. Chump; and
Braintop instantly retired upon an expressive bow. When he was out of
the room, Mrs. Chump appealed spitefully to an audience of chairs; but
when she heard the front-door shut with a report, she jumped up in
terror, crying incredulously, "Is the young man pos'tively one? Oh! and
me alone in a rage!--the contemplated horrors of which position set her