about "Bath" and the "Marquis," and I couldn't help smiling to myself,
and just let slip a question whether he had enlightened them a bit.
"Kilne," said he, "you're an honest man, and a neighbour, and I'll tell
you what happened. The Squire," he says, "likes my company, and I like
his table. Now the Squire 'd never do a dirty action, but the Squire's
nephew, Mr. George Uplift, he can't forget that I earn my money, and once
or twice I have had to correct him." And I'll wager Mel did it, too!
Well, he goes on: "There was Admiral Sir Jackson Racial and his lady, at
dinner, Squire Falco of Bursted, Lady Barrington, Admiral Combleman"--our
admiral, that was; 'Mr. This and That', I forget their names--and other
ladies and gentlemen whose acquaintance I was not honoured with." You
know his way of talking. "And there was a goose on the table," he says;
and, looking stern at me, "Don't laugh yet!" says he, like thunder.
Well, he goes on: "Mr. George caught my eye across the table, and said,
so as not to be heard by his uncle, 'If that bird was rampant, you would
see your own arms, Marquis.'" And Mel replied, quietly for him to hear,
"And as that bird is couchant, Mr. George, you had better look to your
sauce." Couchant means squatting, you know. That's heraldry! Well,
that wasn't bad sparring of Mel's. But, bless you! he was never taken
aback, and the gentlefolks was glad enough to get him to sit down amongst
'em. So, says Mr. George, "I know you're a fire-eater, Marquis," and his
dander was up, for he began marquising Mel, and doing the mock polite at
such a rate, that, by-and-by, one of the ladies who didn't know Mel
called him "my lord" and "his lordship." "And," says Mel, "I merely
bowed to her, and took no notice." So that passed off: and there sits
Mel telling his anecdotes, as grand as a king. And, by and-by, young Mr.
George, who hadn't forgiven Mel, and had been pulling at the bottle
pretty well, he sings out, "It 's Michaelmas! the death of the goose!
and I should like to drink the Marquis's health!" and he drank it
solemn. But, as far as I can make out, the women part of the company was