favoured me with very funny replies, signed, 'Your own ever-loving Papa,'
about his being engaged killing Bengal tigers and capturing white
elephants, a noble occupation that gave me exciting and consolatory
dreams of him.

We had at last a real letter of his, dated from a foreign city; but he
mentioned nothing of coming to me. I understood that Mr. Rippenger was
disappointed with it.

Gradually a kind of cloud stole over me. I no longer liked to ask for
pocket-money; I was clad in a suit of plain cloth; I was banished from
the parlour, and only on Sunday was I permitted to go to Julia. I ceased
to live in myself. Through the whole course of lessons, at play-time, in
my bed, and round to morning bell, I was hunting my father in an unknown
country, generally with the sun setting before me: I ran out of a wood
almost into a brook to see it sink as if I had again lost sight of
him, and then a sense of darkness brought me back to my natural
consciousness, without afflicting me much, but astonishing me. Why was
I away from him? I could repeat my lessons in the midst of these dreams
quite fairly; it was the awakening among the circle of the boys that made
me falter during a recital and ask myself why I was there and he absent?
They had given over speculating on another holiday and treat from my
father; yet he had produced such an impression in the school that even
when I had descended to the level of a total equality with them, they
continued to have some consideration for me. I was able to talk of
foreign cities and could tell stories, and I was, besides, under the
immediate protection of Heriot. But now the shadow of a great calamity
fell on me, for my dear Heriot announced his intention of leaving the
school next half.