One of Our Conquerors — Volume 4 by George Meredith
page 8 of 138 (05%)
page 8 of 138 (05%)
|
Hardly worth while to trouble my dear soul, till certain. Anything about
wives, forces me to think of myself--my better self!' 'I had to hear of it first from Mrs. Blathenoy.' 'You've heard of duels in dark rooms:--that was the case between Blathenoy and me last night for an hour.' She feigned somnolent fatigue over her feverish weariness of heart. He kissed her on the forehead. Her spell-bound intention to speak of Dudley Sowerby to him, was broken by the sounding of the hall-door, thirty minutes later. She had lain in a trance. Life surged to her with the thought, that she could decide and take her step. Many were the years back since she had taken a step; less independently then than now; unregretted, if fatal. Her brain was heated for the larger view of things and the swifter summing of them. It could put the man at a remove from her and say, that she had lived with him and suffered intensely. It gathered him to her breast rejoicing in their union: the sharper the scourge, the keener the exultation. But she had one reproach to deafen and beat down. This did not come on her from the world: she and the world were too much foot to foot on the antagonist's line, for her to listen humbly. It came of her quick summary survey of him, which was unnoticed by the woman's present fiery mind as being new or strange in any way: simply it was a fact she now read; and it directed her to reproach herself for an abasement beneath his leadership, a blind subserviency and surrender of her faculties to his greater powers, such as no soul of a breathing body should yield to man: not to the highest, |
|