Und dey nefer sooposed a Dootchman hafe de sense to do de same."

Accordingly, Breitmann calls a meeting of Smith's supporters,
tells them that he hopes to get a good place for his friend
Smith, though he cannot approve of Smith's teetotal principles,
because he, Breitmann, is a republican, and the meaning of that
word is plain: - "... If any enlightened man vill seeken in his
Bibel, he will find dat a publican is a barty ash sells
lager; und de ding is very blain, dat a re-publican
ish von who sells id 'gain und 'gain." Moreover, Smith believes
in God, and goes to church, - what liberal German can
stand this? - while Breitmann, being a publican, must be a
sinner. As to parties, the principles of both are the
same - plunder - and "any man who gifes me his fote, - votefer
his boledics pe, - shall alfays pe regardet ash bolidigal friendt
py me."

This brings the house down. And when Breitmann announces that he
sells the best beer in the city, and stands drinks gratis to his
"bolidigal friendts," and orders in twelve barrels of lager for
the meeting, he is unanimously voted "a brickbat, and no
sardine."

After this brilliant success, the author is obliged to pause,
in order to proclaim the intellectual superiority of Germans to
the whole world. He gets tremendously be-fogged in the process,
but that is no matter -

"Ash der Hegel say of his system,' Dat only von mans knew
Vot der tyfel id meant; and he couldn't tell,' und der Jean