eyes of my nearest and dearest relatives. It was a relief to me to
hear that my father was not at home. My sister was in the house: the
servant said she had just gone into the library, and inquired whether
he should tell her that I had come in. I desired him not to disturb
her, as it was my intention to go out again immediately.

I went into my study, and wrote a short note there to Clara; merely
telling her that I should be absent in the country for two days. I had
sealed and laid it on the table for the servant to deliver, and was
about to leave the room, when I heard the library door open. I
instantly drew back, and half-closed my own door again. Clara had got
the book she wanted, and was taking it up to her own sitting-room. I
waited till she was out of sight, and then left the house. It was the
first time I had ever avoided my sister--my sister, who had never in
her life asked a question, or uttered a word that could annoy me; my
sister, who had confided all her own little secrets to my keeping,
ever since we had been children. As I thought on what I had done, I
felt a sense of humiliation which was almost punishment enough for the
meanness of which I had been guilty.

I went round to the stables, and had my horse saddled immediately. No
idea of proceeding in any particular direction occurred to me. I
simply felt resolved to pass my two days' ordeal of suspense away from
home--far enough away to keep me faithful to my promise not to see
Margaret. Soon after I started, I left my horse to his own guidance,
and gave myself up to my thoughts and recollections, as one by one
they rose within me. The animal took the direction which he had been
oftenest used to take during my residence in London--the northern
road.