a "Massachusettisian." I do not profess to give any reasons for these
peculiarities.

In the West, speech is more brief. "Autos go slow" is the warning while
on the Fenway in Boston the signs read - "Motor Vehicles, Proceed
Slowly." I wouldn't swear to the comma but the words are identical.

There is a small to near Provincetown where a sign reads - "Friends, we
wish to think well of you and we wish you to think well of us. Kindly
observe the ten mile motor limit." After that the roads are so bad that
one couldn't possibly exceed ten miles if he tried. Probably the longest
sign in California is that one which reads - "Drive your fool heads
off."

"Booze-fighters" are Western. Oh, they're Eastern too, but under a
different name. It's a misleading term, that. As though one were
fighting against booze like an anti-salooner. I actually know of a woman
who came West and thought for or a long time that a "booze-fighter" was
a "Dry." In the East he is a "rummy" and when he's drunk he's "tight."

"It's a fright," is Western. "Ornery," is middle-Western. That's a
wonderful word. Sometimes, I wish I could live my life over with
"ornery" in my vocabulary. It describes so many people I never knew just
how to classify.

There are no "T" bones in the East. And scrambled brains are not common.
Oh, of course, we have them but not as something to eat. Personally, I
was brought up to reverence brains and when I see them lying pale and
messy on a plate in a Greek restaurant, I confess it gives me a start.