coated with the uncleansed dust of the three past terms; and where
the plaster had not been chipped off by flying porter-bottles, or the
heels of Wellington boots, its surface had afforded an irresistible
temptation to those imaginative undergraduates who displayed their
artistic genius in candle-smoke cartoons of the heads of the
University, and other popular and unpopular characters. All Mr.
Green's caution, as he crept up the


[AN OXFORD FRESHMAN 37]

dark, twisting staircase, could not prevent him from crushing his hat
against the low, cobwebbed ceiling, and he gave vent to a very strong
but quiet anathema, which glided quietly and audibly into the remark,
"Confounded awkward staircase, I think!"

"Just what Mr. Bouncer says," replied the scout, "although he don't
reach so high as you, sir; but he ~do~ say, sir, when he, comes home
pleasant at night from some wine-party, that it ~is~ the aukardest
staircase as was ever put before a gentleman's legs. And
he ~did~ go so far, sir, as to ask the Master, if it wouldn't be
better to have a staircase as would go up of hisself, and take the
gentlemen up with it, like one as they has at some public show in
London - the Call-and-see-em, I think he said."

"The Colosseum, probably," suggested Mr. Green. "And what did Dr.
Portman say to that, pray?"

"Why he said, sir, - leastways so Mr. Bouncer reported, - that it
worn't by no means a bad idea, and that p'raps Mr. Bouncer'd find