diversity. When I am deserted by Thee, my soul is like a sick man,
whose taste is spoiled. Nothing pleases me, but all things disgust
me. My body is torpid, my mind oppressed; within is dryness, without
is sadness. All that I see or hear, however good in reality, is
distasteful and hateful to me. I am easily led into sins; I am weak
to resist my enemies; I am cold or lukewarm towards all good.
Whoever comes to me, finds my house empty. For the House-Father is
away, who knows how to counsel for the best, and to inspire the
whole household. On the other hand, when the day-star arises in my
inmost heart, all the pain quickly vanishes, all the darkness is
dispelled, and a great brightness arises and shines forth. My heart
laughs, my mind is exalted, my soul becomes cheerful, all things
around me are blithe and merry; whatever is around me and within me
is turned to Thy praise. That which before seemed hard, difficult,
irksome, impossible, becomes suddenly easy and pleasant. To give
myself to fasting, watching, and prayer, to suffer or abstain or
avoid, in a word all the hardnesses of life seem when compared with
Thy presence to have no irksomeness at all. My soul is bathed in
radiance, truth, and sweetness, so that all its labours are
forgotten. My heart delights itself in abundant sweet meditations,
my tongue learns to speak of high things, my body is brisk and ready
for any undertaking; whoever comes to ask my advice, takes back with
him high counsels such as he desired to hear. In short, I seem to
myself to have transcended the limits of time and space, and to be
standing on the threshold of eternal bliss. But who, O Lord, can
secure for me, that I may be long in this state? Alas, in a moment
it is withdrawn from me; and for a long space again I am left as
naked and destitute as if I had never experienced anything of the
kind; till at last, after many and deep sighings of heart, it is
restored to me. Is this Thou, O Lord, or rather I myself? Or what is