his business bears the same relations to a politician that pepper
does to the stomach.

And it came to pass that the people of the North and the people of
the West became seriously alarmed at the capers Mr. Beauregard and
his men were cutting at Manassas. Indeed, many false reports were
circulated concerning the great power of this Mr. Beauregard; and
our people began to give way to their fears, and to declare that he
might enter the capital any dark night and capture or send the
Government on a traveling expedition. The aged gentlemen at the head
of our Government shook their heads discouragingly, and declared
there was no safety in going to bed at night while Mr. Beauregard
was so near a neighbor. The honest farmers in the country round
about were also very much alarmed at the unruly conduct of Mr.
Beauregard's men, who carried off their pigs and chickens, and eat
up all their vegetables. They also made a great noise, and planted
guns on all the adjacent hills, a proceeding the honest farmers did
not fully comprehend. Then these unruly men became very defiant,
felt like fighting the world, and, in the honest belief that they
could do it, invited all the rest of the nation to come out and get
whipped. Yes, my son, and to show what confidence they had in
themselves, they said we might bring "five for one;" and for that
matter, all Germany and all Ireland. It was considered wisdom with
them to say nothing about England and France. Those two peaceably
inclined nations might, at some future day, be disposed to step in
and help them out--in a quiet way. It was not so much humanity as a
matter of profitable trade with these two great nations, and if
things should take a successful turn, they might see the confederacy
in a strong light, and give it material as well as moral help,
notwithstanding it had slavery for its foundation. In short, these