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Nonsense Novels by Stephen Leacock
page 35 of 150 (23%)
some great feat of emprise or adventure, some high achievement of
deringdo which should make him worthy to woo her.

He placed himself under a vow that he would eat nothing, save only
food, and drink nothing, save only liquor, till such season as he
should have performed his feat.

For this cause he had at once set out for Jerusalem to kill a Saracen
for her. He killed one, quite a large one. Still under his vow, he
set out again at once to the very confines of Pannonia determined to
kill a Turk for her. From Pannonia he passed into the Highlands of
Britain, where he killed her a Caledonian.

Every year and every month Guido performed for Isolde some new
achievement of emprise.

And in the meantime Isolde waited.

It was not that suitors were lacking. Isolde the Slender had suitors
in plenty ready to do her lightest hest.

Feats of arms were done daily for her sake. To win her love suitors
were willing to vow themselves to perdition. For Isolde's sake, Otto
the Otter had cast himself into the sea. Conrad the Cocoanut had
hurled himself from the highest battlement of the castle head first
into the mud. Hugo the Hopeless had hanged himself by the waistband
to a hickory tree and had refused all efforts to dislodge him. For her
sake Sickfried the Susceptible had swallowed sulphuric acid.

But Isolde the Slender was heedless of the court thus paid to her.
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