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Nonsense Novels by Stephen Leacock
page 37 of 150 (24%)

Guido the Gimlet was in the lead. His coat of mail was hidden beneath
a parti-coloured cloak and he bore in his hand a horn.

By arrangement he was to penetrate into the castle by the postern gate
in disguise, steal from the Margrave by artifice the key of the great
door, and then by a blast of his horn summon his followers to the
assault. Alas! there was need for haste, for at this very Yuletide,
on this very night, the Margrave, wearied of Isolde's resistance,
had determined to bestow her hand upon Tancred the Tenspot.

It was wassail all in the great hall. The huge Margrave, seated at
the head of the board, drained flagon after flagon of wine, and
pledged deep the health of Tancred the Tenspot, who sat plumed and
armoured beside him.

Great was the merriment of the Margrave, for beside him, crouched upon
the floor, was a new jester, whom the seneschal had just admitted by
the postern gate, and the novelty of whose jests made the huge sides
of the Margrave shake and shake again.

"Odds Bodikins!" he roared, "but the tale is as rare as it is new! and
so the wagoner said to the Pilgrim that sith he had asked him to put
him off the wagon at that town, put him off he must, albeit it was but
the small of the night--by St. Pancras! whence hath the fellow so
novel a tale?--nay, tell it me but once more, haply I may remember
it"--and the Baron fell back in a perfect paroxysm of merriment.

As he fell back, Guido--for the disguised jester was none other than
he, that is, than him--sprang forward and seized from the girdle of
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