Ivan Ivanovitch, my father, has heard from Alexis. He will
return in fourteen days. The day after his return I am to
marry him.

And meantime I have still fourteen days to love Otto.

My love is perfect. It makes me want to die. Last night I
tried again to commit suicide. Why should I live now that I
have known a perfect love? I placed a box of cartridges beside
my bed. I awoke unharmed. They did not kill me. But I know
what it means. It means that Otto and I are to die together.
I must tell Otto.

* * *

Later.

To-day I told Otto that we must kill ourselves, that our love
is so perfect that we have no right to live.

At first he looked so strange.

He suggested that I should kill myself first and that he should
starve himself beside my grave.

But I could not accept the sacrifice.

I offered instead to help him to hang himself beside the river.