"Be hivins," said Mr. Dooley, "I wisht I'd been there."

"Where?" asked Mr. Hennessy.

"At th' bankit iv th' Ancyent an' Hon'rable Chamber iv Commerce
in New York," said Mr. Dooley. "'Tis a hard fate that compels me
to live out here on th' prairies among th' aborig'nal Americans
fr'm Poland an' Bohaymya. Me heart at times is burstin' f'r to
jine in th' festivities iv me fellow Britons in New York. F'r I'm
a British subjick, Hinnissy. I wasn't born wan. I was born in
Ireland. But I have a little money put away, an' ivry American
that has larned to make wan dollar sthick to another is ex-officio,
as Hogan says, a British subjick. We've adopted a foster father.
Some iv us ain't anny too kind to th' ol' gintleman. In th'
matther iv th' Nicaragoon Canal we have recently pushed him over
an' took about all he had. But our hearts feels th' love iv th'
parent counthry, though our hands is rebellyous, an' ivry year me
fellow-merchants gets together in New York an' f'rgets th' cares
iv th' wool an' tallow business in an outburst iv devotion to th'
ol' land fr'm which our fathers sprung or was sprung be th'
authorities.

"Th' prisidint iv th' bankit was me frind Morse K. Cheeseshop a
mimber iv an ol' Yorkshire fam'ly born in th' West Riding iv Long
Island befure th' Crimeyan War. At his right sat th' Sicrety iv
state f'r th' colony, an' at his left me frind th' ambassadure to
th' Coort iv Saint James. Why we shud sind an ambassadure I don't
know, though it may be an ol' custom kept up f'r to plaze th'