"So, havin' fixed ivrything up in Europe, he cast his eyes on this
counthry, an' says he: 'I think I'll have to dazzle thim furriners
somewhat. They've got a round-headed man f'r prisidint that was
born with spurs on his feet an' had a catridge-belt f'r a rattle,
an' some day his goolash won't agree with him an' he'll call th'
bluff I've been makin' these manny years. What'll I do to make
thim me frinds so that 'twud be like settin' fire to their own
house to attackt me? Be hivins, I've got it. They're a dimmycratic
people. I'll sind thim a prince. They can't keep him away, an'
whin he lands, th' German popylation'll come out an' get up
schootzenfists f'r him an' me fellow impror acrost th' say'll see
how manny iv them there ar-re, an' he'll think twict befure he
makes faces at me. F'r, wanst a German, always a German be it
iver so far,' he says. 'I'll sind thim Hinnery. Hinnery! Turn
in th' alarm f'r Hinnery,' he says. Hinnery slides down th' pole
an' th' Impror says: 'Brother, catch th' night boat f'r America
an' pay a visit to whativer king they have there. Take along
annywan ye like an' as manny thrunks as ye need, an' stay as long
as ye plaze. Don't ring. Back th' dhray again' th' front dure
an' hurl ye'ersilf into th' first bed room ye see. Act just as
if ye was me,' he says. 'But I'm not invited,' says Hinnery.
'Write ye'er own invitation,' says Willum. 'Here's th' answer:
'Fellow Potyntate, Ye'ers iv th' second instant askin' me brother
Hinnery to spind a year with ye, not received. In reply will say
that nawthin' cud give me gr-reater pleasure. He can stay as long
as he plazes. Him an' his soot will not need more thin th' whole
house, so ye can have th' barn to ye'ersilf. If ye have a brother,
don't neglect to sind him over to see me. I know a good hotel at
four a day, all included but candles, an' if he stands at th'