in his paroxysms as he walked the streets, he would have his pockets
loaded with stones to pelt at the signs {148b}.

Having from his manner of living frequent occasions to wash himself,
he would often leap over head and ears into the water, though it
were in the midst of the winter, but was always observed to come out
again much dirtier, if possible, than he went in {148c}.

He was the first that ever found out the secret of contriving a
soporiferous medicine to be conveyed in at the ears {148d}. It was
a compound of sulphur and balm of Gilead, with a little pilgrim's
salve.

He wore a large plaister of artificial caustics on his stomach, with
the fervour of which he could set himself a groaning like the famous
board upon application of a red-hot iron.

He would stand in the turning of a street, and calling to those who
passed by, would cry to one, "Worthy sir, do me the honour of a good
slap in the chaps;" to another, "Honest friend, pray favour me with
a handsome kick in the rear;" "Madam, shall I entreat a small box in
the ear from your ladyship's fair hands?" "Noble captain, lend a
reasonable thwack, for the love of God, with that cane of yours over
these poor shoulders." And when he had by such earnest
solicitations made a shift to procure a basting sufficient to swell
up his fancy and his sides, he would return home extremely
comforted, and full of terrible accounts of what he had undergone
for the public good. "Observe this stroke," said he, showing his
bare shoulders; "a plaguy janissary gave it me this very morning at
seven o'clock, as, with much ado, I was driving off the Great Turk.