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A Tale of a Tub by Jonathan Swift
page 47 of 157 (29%)
Interpretatione, which has the faculty of teaching its readers to
find out a meaning in everything but itself, like commentators on
the Revelations, who proceed prophets without understanding a
syllable of the text. "Brothers," said he, "you are to be informed
that of wills, duo sunt genera, nuncupatory and scriptory, {77a}
that in the scriptory will here before us there is no precept or
mention about gold lace, conceditur, but si idem affirmetur de
nuncupatorio negatur. For, brothers, if you remember, we heard a
fellow say when we were boys that he heard my father's man say that
he heard my father say that he would advise his sons to get gold
lace on their coats as soon as ever they could procure money to buy
it." "That is very true," cries the other. "I remember it
perfectly well," said the third. And so, without more ado, they got
the largest gold lace in the parish, and walked about as fine as
lords.

A while after, there came up all in fashion a pretty sort of flame-
coloured satin {77b} for linings, and the mercer brought a pattern
of it immediately to our three gentlemen. "An please your
worships," said he, "my Lord C--- and Sir J. W. had linings out of
this very piece last night; it takes wonderfully, and I shall not
have a remnant left enough to make my wife a pin-cushion by to-
morrow morning at ten o'clock." Upon this they fell again to
rummage the will, because the present case also required a positive
precept, the lining being held by orthodox writers to be of the
essence of the coat. After long search they could fix upon nothing
to the matter in hand, except a short advice in their father's will
to take care of fire and put out their candles before they went to
sleep {78a}. This, though a good deal for the purpose, and helping
very far towards self-conviction, yet not seeming wholly of force to
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