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A Tale of a Tub by Jonathan Swift
page 71 of 157 (45%)
more untractable.

I have chosen to relate this worthy matter in all its circumstances,
because it gave a principal occasion to that great and famous
rupture {98a} which happened about the same time among these
brethren, and was never afterwards made up. But of that I shall
treat at large in another section.

However, it is certain that Lord Peter, even in his lucid intervals,
was very lewdly given in his common conversation, extreme wilful and
positive, and would at any time rather argue to the death than allow
himself to be once in an error. Besides, he had an abominable
faculty of telling huge palpable lies upon all occasions, and
swearing not only to the truth, but cursing the whole company to
hell if they pretended to make the least scruple of believing him.
One time he swore he had a cow at home which gave as much milk at a
meal as would fill three thousand churches, and what was yet more
extraordinary, would never turn sour. Another time he was telling
of an old sign-post {98b} that belonged to his father, with nails
and timber enough on it to build sixteen large men-of-war. Talking
one day of Chinese waggons, which were made so light as to sail over
mountains, "Z---nds," said Peter, "where's the wonder of that? By
G---, I saw a large house of lime and stone travel over sea and land
(granting that it stopped sometimes to bait) above two thousand
German leagues." {98c} And that which was the good of it, he would
swear desperately all the while that he never told a lie in his
life, and at every word: "By G---- gentlemen, I tell you nothing
but the truth, and the d---l broil them eternally that will not
believe me."

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