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A Tale of a Tub by Jonathan Swift
page 74 of 157 (47%)
public good of mankind is performed by two ways--instruction and
diversion. And I have further proved my said several readings
(which, perhaps, the world may one day see, if I can prevail on any
friend to steal a copy, or on certain gentlemen of my admirers to be
very importunate) that, as mankind is now disposed, he receives much
greater advantage by being diverted than instructed, his epidemical
diseases being fastidiosity, amorphy, and oscitation; whereas, in
the present universal empire of wit and learning, there seems but
little matter left for instruction. However, in compliance with a
lesson of great age and authority, I have attempted carrying the
point in all its heights, and accordingly throughout this divine
treatise have skilfully kneaded up both together with a layer of
utile and a layer of dulce.

When I consider how exceedingly our illustrious moderns have
eclipsed the weak glimmering lights of the ancients, and turned them
out of the road of all fashionable commerce to a degree that our
choice town wits of most refined accomplishments are in grave
dispute whether there have been ever any ancients or no; in which
point we are like to receive wonderful satisfaction from the most
useful labours and lucubrations of that worthy modern, Dr. Bentley.
I say, when I consider all this, I cannot but bewail that no famous
modern hath ever yet attempted an universal system in a small
portable volume of all things that are to be known, or believed, or
imagined, or practised in life. I am, however, forced to
acknowledge that such an enterprise was thought on some time ago by
a great philosopher of O-Brazile. The method he proposed was by a
certain curious receipt, a nostrum, which after his untimely death I
found among his papers, and do here, out of my great affection to
the modern learned, present them with it, not doubting it may one
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