branch of knowledge has received such wonderful acquirements since
his age, especially within these last three years or thereabouts, it
is almost impossible he could be so very perfect in modern
discoveries as his advocates pretend. We freely acknowledge him to
be the inventor of the compass, of gunpowder, and the circulation of
the blood; but I challenge any of his admirers to show me in all his
writings a complete account of the spleen. Does he not also leave
us wholly to seek in the art of political wagering? What can be
more defective and unsatisfactory than his long dissertation upon
tea? and as to his method of salivation without mercury, so much
celebrated of late, it is to my own knowledge and experience a thing
very little to be relied on.

It was to supply such momentous defects that I have been prevailed
on, after long solicitation, to take pen in hand, and I dare venture
to promise the judicious reader shall find nothing neglected here
that can be of use upon any emergency of life. I am confident to
have included and exhausted all that human imagination can rise or
fall to. Particularly I recommend to the perusal of the learned
certain discoveries that are wholly untouched by others, whereof I
shall only mention, among a great many more, my "New Help of
Smatterers, or the Art of being Deep Learned and Shallow Read," "A
Curious Invention about Mouse-traps," "A Universal Rule of Reason,
or Every Man his own Carver," together with a most useful engine for
catching of owls. All which the judicious reader will find largely
treated on in the several parts of this discourse.

I hold myself obliged to give as much light as possible into the
beauties and excellences of what I am writing, because it is become
the fashion and humour most applauded among the first authors of