"OWN DEAREST FATHER: Can you, will you ever forgive your disobedient
Leah? I shudder when I think of you, reading these lines in the
morning, when I shall be far away from your loving embrace! But,
dear father, you know I did not desire to go to Saxony, so far away
from you; fearing, yes, even knowing that circumstances would arise
to prevent my return. I cannot explain my meaning, dear father, for
fear of imperilling your happiness. I prefer to live on, as I have
done for years, with the secret of my sorrow-the secret that impels
me to this act of disobedience-hidden in my heart. I fear your
wrath, and yet, dear father, I cannot go. I prefer to remain and
marry the one whom, next to yourself, I love above all mankind-Emile
Le Grande. Yes, dear father, when your eyes peruse these lines, I
shall be his wife, and far away on my journey to our distant home.
He loves me, and I love him, yet more than once have I refused his
love, in deference to your teachings, that 'to deny my people and my
faith, by marriage with a Christian, was worse than death, and an
everlasting disgrace.' Can I hope, then, for your forgiveness, even
though I seek it on bended knees, dear father? Had I been allowed to
remain at home, I never should have married him, certainly not in
the clandestine manner I propose. I flee to the love and protection
of Emile, as an alternative to a dreadful fate. Oh! pity and forgive
me, father; love me, even though I bring sorrow to your tender,
loving heart. In my new home, I shall watch and wait for some
tidings, some missive like a white-winged dove, bearing me a single
word of love and remembrance from my beloved father. If it comes
not, alas! ah me! you may always know there's a sorrow in my heart
that no amount of happiness or prosperity can ever eradicate-a
darkness that no sunshine can ever dispel.