devil himself to translate. This, my brother, accounts for the
rudeness of my greeting, and for it I now ask to be forgiven. Having
lost my shoats in the manner I have related, I sat down and swore
eternal enmity to all of the trade."

The swine driver thus ended the recital of his grievances, when the
major, holding it his duty to set the fallen upon their legs,
divided his pine apple cheese and crackers among us, and commenced
advising him in the following style: "I see, brother drover," said
he, "what a grief having fallen from thy high estate in the church,
is to thee. Take then my advice. Keep thy ambition within proper
bounds until thou hast got bread enough to live in peace for the
space of one year. Then return penitent to thy native village, say
thou art wearied of swine driving, and hast resolved to live an
honest man until death calls thee away. Get this idea well into the
heads of the villagers, then come boldly out and declare thyself to
have sinned beyond measure, and to have been so great a reprobate
that the world had not another like thee. Publish neither cards, nor
pamphlets, nor books, in defence of thy character, and above all, do
thou be careful not to purloin the coat and breeches of thy
companion, nor go uninvited to balls, for, though it be the custom
of unfortunate parsons who take to literature at this day, it will
lower thee in the sight of heaven. But say, that having qualified in
sin, and resolved to seek forgiveness, thou art come to lay thy
implorings at the church door. Change, in the meantime, thy opinions
of matrimony, and be careful to state, within hearing of certain
unmarried damsels the corners of whose ages it will not do to
multiply by ten, how it is become a firm belief with thee that
matrimony will increase the measure of thy joys. And when the moment
it will do for thee to move in this thing has arrived, do thou show