for innumerable antiquated and very dull sermons, for the delivery
of which he would excuse himself to his private friends by saying
that his salary was but four hundred dollars a year, one third of
which he took in No. 2 mackerel no one would buy of him. He was
excessively fussy; and if he advocated temperance to-day, he would
to-morrow take a sly smash, never forgetting to add that it was
recommended by his physician, who was likewise a man of great
learning. Under the influence of this medicine, it was said, by
malicious people, which no parish is with--out, that if the occasion
demanded a serious sermon he was sure to preach one that would send
all the young folks of his congregation into a titter. If the
occasion was such as to tolerate a little humor, he was sure to send
them all into a melancholy mood with the gravity of his remarks. In
fine, he was sure to be on the opposite side of everything natural.
The only question he was not quite sure it would do to get upon, was
the slavery question. And for this he always excused himself by
saying that there were many others in the same condition. It would
not do to be in the desert, hence he inclined to the policy of our
fashionable clergy, who are extremely cautious not to steer too
close to questions not popular enough to be profitably espoused. If
Parson Stebbins (for such was his name) let drop a few words in
favor of freedom to-day, Obadiah Morgan, the most influential member
of his church, would to-morrow politely withdraw. A word or two
complimentary of the South and her peculiar institutions was equally
sure to find him taken to task by the philanthropic females of his
parish. In truth, he could approach neither side of the question
without finding a fire in his rear. And as his empty pocket would
not allow him to rise to independence, he resolved to preach to that
portion of his church which was content to let the slavery question
take care of itself.